We want to love and warmth at any age. But the understanding of some things and attitudes towards them change over the years…
In youth we painfully look for ourselves, in 18-25 years we represent only raw “Something”. How do you know what you like, where your boundaries are, and who you are without trying different experiences? Therefore, in our youth, we readily embark on any experiments – with appearance, profession, sex, love.
After 25, we already find a framework – we get an education, professional experience, full of love. We are no longer so unrestrained in experiments, selective in our goals. Many are already married and have children. Or start building a serious relationship with the prospect of it all. We already understand something about life, but we still understand very little about ourselves. We confuse our desires with the desires of society. We replace love with sacrifice. It seems to us that a man needs to please, otherwise he will be offended and leave.
Maturity is for me the age of real encounter with myself. After “blind” youth, youth “for someone’s sake”, we begin to live for ourselves and for ourselves. This does not mean that we do not need anyone. We have become successful, selfish, self-sufficient singles. No. We, just like in 20, want love, we want warmth, we want relationships. We just understand that in a healthy relationship, it’s all together. A man either wants the same thing or does not linger in our lives. As Omar Khayyam said, “I don’t need someone who doesn’t need me.”
So I more:
1. I’m not waiting for men’s calls or messages.
I either write myself or delete the contacts of those who do not find time for a short answer “sorry, I’m busy today, I’ll dial when I get fired.”
2. I do not go on dates if their place and time are inconvenient for me.
For a meeting to be a joy, it must be comfortable for both. If a man is not interested in the time, desire, or comfort of a woman, then he is generally not interested in a woman. And I don’t need such a man.
3. I do not forgive the lack of gifts for my birthday and other important holidays.
I like men who like to spend money on a woman they like, that is, on me. Financially stingy people are usually stingy in everything else. Inattention to dates that are important to a person is inattention to the person as a whole. Those with whom we are in love, want to pamper and rejoice. Everything that is important to him becomes important to us. If it doesn’t matter if it’s a pity or if I forgot – you can forget my number too.
4. I do not look for excuses for male disorder and failure.
This does not mean that I only need money from my husband. But “at least bread and water to be nice to you” is definitely not a story from the life of a mature woman. We ate our “bread” at the age of 20 and 30, at the age of 40 we already have a comfortable life built by ourselves and there are no excuses.
5. I’m not silent about what I don’t like.
Of course, I can’t stand a man’s brain with endless gossip. But there are things that another person does not guess just because he is different. If I do not like high speed, it scares me, then I do not keep quiet when a man accelerates to 120 km / h. Similarly, I do not report annoyed “where did you go, how are you going”, I calmly say “do not drive, please, I’m worried and I’m scared.”
6. I’m not afraid to ask any questions.
She is also ready for answers herself. In youth, we are afraid to clarify the incomprehensible, because we do not want to scare, strain, or hurt a man. But it is this ambiguity that then creates wounds in ourselves. I don’t want any more wounds, so I’ll find out.
7. I do not iron men’s shirts.
I don’t like ironing. I don’t want to stroke my shirts either. I no longer do anything for my husband that is a burden to me. If he loves me, he will stroke his shirt himself.
8. I do not accept intimacy for love.
Intimacy may or may not be related to love. Love for me is to stroke my shirt, keep quiet with me in the morning, because in the morning I do not like to talk, remember my cat’s name and how many spoons of sugar I put in coffee, bring in May a bouquet of freshly cut, rain-soaked peonies, come and silently repair the leaking faucet.
9. I’m not jealous of my husband to friends or work.
Or to children from previous relationships. If a man loves me, he finds time for me. Includes me in my busy schedule of meetings, trips, football with friends, or fishing with my son. Because I also live a dense, full life. If we both find time for each other – then everything is ok, we have a relationship. If only I find time for a relationship, and my husband is always busy, then I need to find someone else for the relationship.
10. I’m not trying to look better for a man.
On the contrary, when dating I can be even worse, rude, more cynical, straightforward. I am not ashamed to talk about my problems or difficulties. The one who fits it will take a step towards the meeting, and the one who doesn’t like it will pass by.