Fear of others’ judgment can profoundly change your life, it can determine your choices, it can lead you to spend money to be accepted, and it can push you to buy (or rent) a house that you cannot afford.
It leads you to be someone you are not, and despite your best efforts, know that you will still be judged by someone.
Is it really worth it?
As you will have understood, in this article we want to deepen a topic that interests men and women of all ages. Nobody likes to be judged, but in some cases, fear of judgment can even cause anxiety and distress. It can push a person to do (or not do) something, in order not to attract criticism. All of this can be paralyzing and frustrating, especially if you have unconventional life goals and find yourself adjusting to common thinking in order to be accepted and never criticized.
But why do we behave this way? And above all, how to overcome the fear of the judgment of others?
IS THE JUDGMENT OF OTHERS AN INEVITABLE EVIL?
There is only one answer to this question. Others cannot be expected to pass judgment on us. They all do. Indeed, to be precise, we all “do” it. Even those who are afraid of the judgment of others, in turn, judge other people.
Try to think about it for a moment: have you ever had an opinion (perhaps not exactly positive) about a person you know? Maybe it is a friend, a work colleague, the owner of your company and so on. We all judge. It is probably part of human nature. But we can work on ourselves to stop doing it as much as possible. Some people often ask themselves “how not to be judged?”. In reality, the real question to ask is “how do make sure that the judgments of others do not touch me?”. It is on this point that we must commit ourselves and work. Remember: the judgment of others should never affect your life.
WHO IS AFRAID OF THE JUDGMENT OF OTHERS?
A person who is unsure of himself will probably be afraid of what other people may think, of their judgment. In reality, however, this is an even broader problem. Let’s not forget that the human being is a “social animal”. It needs the community, to live in society, and therefore to be accepted. Judgment, in a nutshell, poses a threat to our belonging to a group. So it’s no surprise that it’s so scary, isn’t it?
HOW TO GET FREE FROM THE FEAR OF THE JUDGMENT OF OTHERS?
We have therefore seen that there is nothing strange in the fear of judgment that you experience from time to time. However, this does not mean that we must submit to this sometimes “paralyzing” fear. To live your life exactly as you wish, it is in fact important to shake off the weight of the judgment of others, and also of ours in reality.
Let’s see what are the tips to try right now to finally live the life you want, the one you deserve:
Stop judging yourself: Often the judgments we think we receive from others are nothing more than projections of what we ourselves think. We fear that someone will consider us unintelligent, unpleasant, and unprofessional because we ourselves probably think we are this way. Fear and insecurity are common problems for many people, but it is never too late to start accepting yourself and seeing yourself with better eyes, finally silencing your inner critic.
Nobody really thinks about you: as it is phrased, this sentence might sound very sad. It really just means that we are not in the thoughts of others as often as we might think. In reality, people care very little about us, how we dress, what size we wear, and what we do in general. This thought should make you feel a lot lighter already, isn’t it?
Be honest with yourself: criticism is always annoying, but sometimes it can be helpful. If you receive criticism or a judgment, before filing it directly in the folder “free insults” try to understand if it is constructive criticism. Try to understand if the person who is giving you an opinion (or a criticism) is doing it with the intent to demolish you or to help you improve. Evaluate the comment received honestly, and act in the way that feels most appropriate to you. But at this point, it’s your turn: How has fear of what others think affected your life? And above all, are you ready to get rid of it once and for all?