Adolescence is the most difficult stage in the life of every family with children. This is a time when a child undergoes not only physical transformations but also psycho-emotional changes.
The task of parents in this difficult period – to support and protect the child, while trying not to break contact with her. We learned how to improve relationships with adolescents.
Psychologists distinguish three adolescence periods.
• 11-13 years – early adolescence (age of maximum vulnerability),
• 14-17 – basic adolescence,
• from 18 years – the final period.
Recently, scientists have proposed to expand the scope of adolescence to 24 years, based on the fact that modern children grow up later than their peers a few decades ago. This is due to the fact that the duration of training becomes longer, and financial independence for young people comes later.
At the same time as the child grows up, the attitude of the parents towards it must change. They must accept the fact that children will push them away, stop sharing their problems, and start making their first serious mistakes.
What parents need to know
The separation of a child is a normal process. When a child is adamant about his or her personal boundaries, this should be treated with understanding. Conversely, a child’s reluctance to grow up should alert parents.
Difficulties in communicating with children during puberty are inevitable. Even if parents are as tolerant of a teenager as possible, they will still have to deal with outbursts of anger, mood swings, and destructive behavior. The fact is that most adolescents can cope with a complex emotional state only through aggression. If you respond to aggression with prohibitions and punishments, you can only worsen the relationship with the child.
Despite the removal of adolescents, they still need the unconditional support and love of loved ones. Therefore, when children criticize themselves and their appearance, they expect their parents to support them and convince them otherwise.
You should not try to become a teenager’s friend. Do not give up the position of parents, and try to build parental authority.
How to improve communication with a teenager
It is possible to build a good relationship with a teenager by properly expressing your needs and emotions. Communication with the child can be improved by eliminating the following phrases from communication:
• “You’re doing some nonsense,”
• “Your friends have a bad influence on you,”
• “And what do you know?”
• “You’re not old enough yet,”
• “There is such a word as “necessary”.
Inspirational and supportive phrases should be used instead of these phrases and outdated beliefs in communication with the adolescent. Example:
• “I don’t understand your passion, but I respect your choice,”
• “I don’t like your appearance, but I understand that it’s important for you now.”
• “I value your time, but I need your help,”
• “Your opinion is important to me, but my experience says that this decision is wrong.”
• “How can I help you, support you?”
• “It needs to be done because …”.
Remember that the most important thing for a child in adolescence – to learn to listen to yourself and trust your feelings. Parents should be the best mentors and role models for their children.