It is important for children to help in extreme situations or any other situation where the child has found himself in difficult conditions and experienced stress.
1. Listen to the child. Seriously.
Not interrupting. Not in a hurry. Not helping to pick up the words to finish the story faster. Not being distracted by the phone and not making a sour face. Listen carefully. Your whole body and facial expression showing that you are here with your baby. That his story is the most important thing at this moment. That you are really interested in all the details. If the child cried – do not stop. Take my hand, hug, and let me cry. Soon the baby will be able to continue his story. Be patient.
2. Say that you understand everything.
You may need to repeat briefly what the child has said (this requires not only pretending but also listening carefully). Until we say something out loud, it doesn’t exist. When we speak – it acquires fig. And it is much easier to deal with something real than with something mythical.
3. Say that you understand the child’s feelings.
Imagine in her place that you would feel what you were thinking. It is from the position of the child, not from his own. And tell him about it honestly. Remember, now is not the time for anger and irritation. Focus on his feelings, not your own. This will help the child to accept their experiences and bring them out.
4. Say it’s perfectly normal.
This is the most important moment. The child, often not realizing that there is a norm, begins to be ashamed. Speaking of your experiences and noting that it feels perfectly normal – you give her the “right to emotions”. The child understands that it is not necessary to be ashamed and somehow to hide.
5. Express sympathy and sympathy.
But no pity! Honestly tell the child from your adult position how you feel about this situation.