Contrary to popular belief, self-esteem is in no way related to success, because in a person’s life there are always failures.
In fact, self-esteem teaches us to accept things as they are, reject failures, and come to terms with things that are beyond our control.
1. You allow yourself to be human
You allow yourself to make mistakes, cry when you are sad, get angry when someone insults you, etc. You let imperfection and chaos into your life because you know that these are the qualities that make it real, which is always much more important. then a perfect appearance.
2. You have boundaries.
You set boundaries for the relationship that is not negotiable. You know your boundaries very well and understand what qualities your friends and partner should have. And with those who do not meet the ideal, you politely break off your ties, because you understand: they do not suit you.
3. You clear your contact list
You no longer feel the need to write to people who, in your opinion, are indifferent to you, do not want you, or simply do not suit you. So you erase their phone numbers and just live on.
4. You feel responsible
You feel responsible, then you know that true self-love is more than just a series of positive statements. If you say you do something for someone, you do it. When you set a goal, you do your best to achieve it. And if you do not succeed, you try your best to eliminate mistakes.
5. You know how to refuse
You are not afraid to say no, even if the only reason is your reluctance.
6. You try your best to live the real thing
You understand that your “travels” to the past and feelings about the future cause you unnecessary pain. That’s why you prefer to live real, because it’s the only thing you have and that you can really control.
7. You do not apologize but offer sincere apologies for your transgressions
You admit your mistakes because you respect yourself enough to allow yourself to be imperfect.
8. You trust your instincts
You listen to your inner voice as if it were your most trusted person. You know that instincts do not exist just to guide you.
9. You really care about yourself
You play sports because of the feelings it evokes in you, not because you want to change your appearance. You eat right because you understand your body’s need for vital nutrients. You get enough sleep because you know how important it is to rest. And you put taking care of yourself in the first place and do not consider it a waste of time, because it is necessary to maintain the normal state of your health.
10. You do not need support
When something goes wrong, you no longer try to control your emotions through drinking, drugs, food, shopping, and so on. No, you are just looking at the discomfort and pain right in your face.
11. You do not need to humiliate yourself
You have stopped being ashamed and scolding yourself for change.
12. You are well oriented in your inner world
You realize how destructive to your well-being your negative conversations with yourself are. Catching yourself on the fact that you are behaving badly again, you gently divert yourself from such a dialogue, replacing it with a more gentle attitude towards yourself.
13. You know the limits of your capabilities and ask for help
You are not afraid to ask for more from your partner or friends. You do not underestimate the importance of your requests with apologies and words about how much you “need” help. You know that having needs makes you a person, not a burden.
14. You are not silent
You let other people know when they are hurting your feelings, not suppressing the pain in yourself, and not allowing the image to take the place of reconciliation.
15. You know how to let go
Now you know you don’t have to react to anything that annoys you.
16. You understand other people and accept them as they are
You have stopped judging others by replacing contempt for their misdeeds with compassion. And because you no longer treat yourself cruelly, it has become easier for you to treat other people well.
17. You are no longer afraid of solitude
Previously, you hated just the thought of spending a Friday night alone. But that’s in the past. Now you just enjoy your company.
18. You do not limit yourself to other people
You allow yourself to leave in the past people, cities, works and previous versions of yourself, do not apologize and do not feel guilty about it.
19. You gave up your attempts to fit into the environment
Everyone has their own truth, just like you. You are not trying to convince others that you are worthy of their love, that you are on the right path, or that the decisions you have made are the right ones. For you, this is a waste of time and energy. In addition, you know that you can only control your ideas and attitudes towards yourself, but not others.
20. You do not lose self-control when you are rejected or thrown away
Yes, you allow yourself to be sad, upset and live with a broken heart, but you do not consider yourself the cause of this parting. And all because you understand that you can be just incompatible with another person.
21. You find gossip boring
You don’t need to see other people’s failures to feel better.
22. You no longer seek approval by trying to persuade someone, because you understand that approval is not a reward
You know you shouldn’t try to earn someone’s love or acceptance. If someone doesn’t like you, let them. No need to try to change someone else’s opinion. Just let go.
23. You are no longer trying to persuade love to come to you
You no longer chase after people and do not agree to superficial relationships. You respect yourself, so you ask what you want and move on if the other person is not ready or just does not reciprocate.
24. You understand that your friends and partner have their own boundaries
After all, we are all trying to save ourselves. Everyone’s life is not easy in its own way. Generally, if someone can’t give you what you’re asking for, it’s not because you shouldn’t have asked or because someone is bad because they can’t help you. When your partner or friends can’t help, you tell them you understand and are looking for ways to solve your problem yourself. You know you can always count on yourself.
25. You love your past version of yourself as much as you love the present
You understand that your previous version was necessary for you to become what you are now. You understand how much you have learned from her, and therefore you will never look down on her.