This is our reality: more and more children are being raised in single-parent families. But this does not mean that a single mother can not cope with upbringing!
Stereotypes that a single woman is unable to raise a child who will be successful in the future are a thing of the past. such. You can make her happy! Psychologists have given some advice.
Take care of your budget
Raising a child on one mother’s salary is not an easy task, but it is quite feasible. However, keep in mind that you will have to learn to live within your means without relying on anyone. Track your purchases during the month, analyze expenses, and make a plan of income and expenses.
Also, think about the future: maybe you should start raising money for your child’s education right now? Try not to overwhelm your child with expensive gifts, trying to compensate for the absence of the father: this technique does not work, but the hole in your budget will definitely break.
Establish a clear schedule
It is important for your child to know that there is some stability in his life, it is important to understand your requirements and expectations from him. Therefore, be consistent in education: if the child is guilty – punish, if he excelled – reward and praise. It is very important for children to have a clear daily routine.
Start a “support group”
It could be your mom or sister, a friend at work, or a neighbor. In short, the person you can ask to take care of the child if you are urgently called to work or there is another urgent case. This is important so that you do not feel the burden on the child that binds you in the arms and legs and does not allow you to live a full life.
Do not pass on adult problems to a child
It is easy for a single mother to succumb to temptation and seek support in her “adult” sorrows from the child. In single mothers, the daughter often becomes a girlfriend, to whom the mother complains about her loneliness and ex, and the son is forced to be an “adult”.
But children are not mature enough to adequately perceive your adult problems, and often they, listening to the mother’s complaints, begin to think that they are the source of the mother’s troubles. Do not blame the child for the problems in their own lives. If you need to share what is in your heart, consult a friend or psychologist.
Be honest with your child
You should not invent nonsense, explaining your divorce from your husband, try to follow the truth as accurately as possible because your child deserves it. But during the conversation, avoid accusations against her father, and talk only about the facts. It is important that the child has the opportunity to express their emotions – do not scold or embarrass her for them.
Get rid of guilt
Single mothers are often haunted by feelings of guilt for failing to provide their children with a full-fledged family. So: you are not guilty of anything! Stop thinking about what you can’t give her, think about what she has thanks to you: a roof over your head, delicious food, a loving mother. Remind yourself more often that you are a good mother!
When you are raising a child alone, you have a lot of responsibilities and worries that sometimes provoke negative thoughts. Stop having a pessimistic monologue in your head, remember that your child will not be happy if her mother is unhappy. Therefore, becoming an optimist is not your whim, it is your duty.