Each of us has a certain life experience that cannot be ignored, especially in marriages. We understand how to build relationships for those who have once gone through a painful divorce.
According to statistics, 30% of the total number of marriages are repeated. In the years of the wedding boom and in the years of decline, this figure remains stable. But it is not necessary to consider the second (third, fourth) marriages only as correction of the previous plots. This is a primitive approach because every second marriage is as unique as every first. The approach “he left everything to his ex and moved to me with one suitcase” – a big mistake. This is a very large suitcase – a person who has survived a divorce has huge emotional baggage (and often children) that you have to reckon with.
Do not compete with children
It would be good to find out a man’s life priorities before the wedding. If you have children from your first marriage, you need to accept it – whether you like them or not. Children cannot be the object of rivalry. You should be not so kind to them on the outside as completely calm on the inside – they are not your competitors.
Give me time
The second wife needs to be doubly wise – for herself and for the previous one. It is important to learn to feel the psychological limits of a man. It is possible that in the previous marriage they were rudely violated, and he will react painfully to questions about the former family. Wait, he will tell you what he thinks is necessary.
It often seems to women that men are not very vulnerable and find it easier to get out of a divorce situation. In fact, the opposite is true. In their case, to this unpleasant procedure is added the loss of a habitual way of life, change of housing and environment. And for men, the destruction of the basics of life is a big problem.
Do not repeat the mistakes of the first wife
Your husband already knows how to divorce (it is possible that he was the first to slam the door). It is unlikely that he will tolerate in the new relationship the psychological violence and control from which he fled in the past.