Being a good person for everyone is a bad idea.
From childhood, each of us forms certain patterns of behavior that help us to adapt to life in society. One of them is to be a good and “comfortable” person for everyone. With it, we get a positive attitude from loved ones, support from friends, good relationships with colleagues, parental approval, a good attitude from teachers, and what we want in general – this model becomes a way of life and the basis for all subsequent relationships. But it has one side effect – people begin to perceive flexibility and the ability to sacrifice their own interests for the sake of others, which ultimately leads to very adverse consequences for a person who is accustomed to living to please others.
Usually, over time, you realize that you are very unhappy because you live the way others won’t and do not listen to what you really want. But as soon as you start asking yourself this question, everything around you begins to change in a flash: you learn to say “no”, define your boundaries and do not allow them to be violated, and former friends and acquaintances who are not ready to accept new standards of life begin to disappear. because you have suddenly become an uncomfortable person for them. However, getting rid of a habit that has been developed for years is not so easy. We talk about the main advantages of giving up the desire to please everyone, which will help to find motivation and change the usual reality.
You will no longer sacrifice your own interests for the sake of others
The desire to please and excessive politeness leads to the fact that we begin to sacrifice personal interests for the sake of others. Instead of making remarks, we are silent. Instead of giving up, we agree not to offend. You should not try to be good at everything to please everyone. There will always be those who do not appreciate your positive intentions, and you are unlikely to feel happy. By giving up our own interests, aspirations, and desires, we limit our own possibilities and potential – treat yourself, your hobbies, and time with respect, and you will see how much easier and more interesting life will become.
You will lose your dependence on someone else’s opinion
You will no longer have to worry about what people will think of you – first of all, you will focus on personal feelings and emotions and know exactly what you want and what you will never do. It is worth realizing that dependence on someone else’s opinion and approval is a problem that needs to be solved. Focusing on the expectations of others, you will not be able to achieve your goals and make your dreams come true. In addition, different people will make different demands on you, and no one can please everyone.
You will learn to feel your own desires
In the pursuit of pleasing others, we do not think about our true desires at all. Instead, we worry about how not to look bad in the eyes of another person and do what can be completely uncomfortable for us. By giving up the desire to be a good person, you will learn step by step to understand yourself and your own desires, and eventually master the art of saying “no” if something does not suit you – thanks to these skills, your life will change dramatically.
You will live the way you want
Have you ever talked to seniors about what they regret the most? In answer to this question, you can often hear that they regret a life not lived the way they wanted. Indeed, we often focus on the words “should”, “right”, and “should be”, but we do not realize that we lose the opportunity to live the life we dream of. We give up pleasures, strive to be the best in everything, and take on unnecessary obligations for fear of disappointing others. It is important to understand that being beautiful does not mean being happy – you need to create happiness yourself, and to do this you need to understand what you are investing in this concept and how to approach it.